Forgiveness
Who has not been hurt by the words or actions of another person? I dare say all of us have experienced a time when someone has emotionally or physically harmed us. Sometimes the act is not intentional, but the pain is still real for those on the receiving end. These events can lead to wounds and strongholds in our lives, which will influence our future behavior and decisions. Anger, bitterness, resentment, and hate many times are the fruit of these strongholds. This leads to broken relationships, loss of purpose, depression, loneliness, and sadness.
But Christ provides us with an answer, forgiveness. I know, what you are thinking… Forgiveness, really?!? YES, forgiveness! In fact, forgiveness is what was extended to you and I through Jesus. Prior to knowing and accepting Christ, we all caused hurt and pain to God. But there is good news, in Acts 10:43 it states whoever believes in Christ is forgiven. This forgiveness allows for healing, restoration, and reconciliation back to God our Father. This same principle is applicable in our connections with others.
There are two common unconstructive responses most people give when encouraged to forgive. The first one is, “I have forgiven them, BUT…” BUT what? We put a condition on the forgiveness, or a limitation on how it is going to work. This is not true forgiveness.
“Unforgiveness is a poison that shrivels the heart. It means a person cannot truly live in the present as they’re always thinking about the past.” Carolyn Miller
The second response is, “Do you know what they did or what they said to me (or about me). I cannot forgive them.” In this instance, forgiveness is perceived as a pass, or somehow you are condoning what happened. The person is getting off, and there is no consequence for their actions. We have an internal need to impart our own form of justice, and by not forgiving, we are somehow punishing them. Truth be told, it is not penalizing them but punishing you. You become a prisoner of the offense, the pain, the past, the event.
“Unforgiveness is like drinking poison yourself and waiting for the other person to die.” Marianne Williamson
Christ recognizes how debilitating unforgiveness is and directs us to forgive.
“Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” Luke 6:37
“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Matthew 6:14-15
He provides steps to enable you to a place of forgiveness:
- Remember God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32
- Trust God, and allow Him to operate. Romans 12: 19-21.
- Pray for the person. Matthew 5:43-45.
- Ask God for help and strength. Isaiah 41:10, 2 Corinthians 12:9.
As you start your day, may you be encouraged and more equipped to forgive.